Jesus died upon a cross and suffered for our sins Our redeemer and our guiding light Jesus is the son of God and we all love him dearly But Superman would beat him in a fight Jesus is an example for everyone to follow He has always chosen what is right But Superman has super strength and super breath and super sight And Superman would beat him in a fight Jesus walks on water Jesus heals the blind Superman shoots lasers through his eyes Jesus turns a little bread into a lot of bread Superman shoots lasers through his eyes Jesus forgives all of us as long as we repent Because he is so tolerant and polite But Superman can fly around, leap buildings in a single bound And Superman would beat him in a fight Jesus has no camouflage so he's easy to find Superman on the other hand has a disguise Both Jesus and Superman are super cool guys. Superman shoots lasers through his eyes The greatness of Jesus' deeds, indeed to great to label Superman would beat him in a fight According to Mel Gibson Jesus invented the table Did you see The Passion of the Christ Jesus wards of any threat that Satan poses Superman would beat him in a fight Jesus parts the sea, oh no wait that was Moses Superman would beat him in a fight Unless Jesus accumulated some Kryptonite Superman would beat him in a fight

When you jerk off Into your own sock Make sure to turn your own sock inside out 'Cause when you jerk off Into your own sock You don't want to get foot sweat on you dick There isn't a doubt Life is full of things you have to think about Think about things Think about things I don't want gout There's a lot of things that I could do without Think about things Think about Think about your sock Covered in cum Think about your other sock covered in cum Think about your cat Stuck in a tree Think about your other cat covered in cum When you jerk off Into your own sock You don't want to get foot sweat on your dick

You could spend thousands of dollars Buying plane tickets to China Why must China be so far away Or you could spend $7.95 It's just like a trip to China It comes free with purchase of buffet From Chinatown, Chinatown They will never let you down at Chinatown, Chinatown You will not leave with a frown from Chinatown, Chinatown China, China, China, China Chinatown You could spend a lot less money Buying inferior food And leaving lunch feeling empty inside Or you could spend $7.95 Your own little trip to China Leaves you feeling full and satisfied At Chinatown, Chinatown They will never let you down At Chinatown, Chinatown You will not leave with a frown From Chinatown, Chinatown If I had to die, I'd drown in Chinatown, Chinatown China, China, China, China Chinatown

My name is Joe and I eat peas 'Cause I'm a vegan I must say these are the best peas I've ever eaten And I would know, I know my peas They're all I ever eat Well I've got news for you, Joe These peas are made of meat These peas are made of meat These peas are made of meat Your pantry inventory was a little incomplete You're an omnivore and so I fed you meat I can't believe you fed me meat What a dirty trick I ate something with a face and a soul And I feel sick I've got pains in my stomach In my head and in my feet Well I've got news for you, Joe Your father's dead Your father's dead Your father's dead You thought your worst problem was that you ate meat but instead It turns out your father's dead Olay! This is the hardest day that you have ever had to live 'Cause sadness like your dad, pardon the pun Is relative But I've got some some good news So keep your chin up, Vegan Joe You can save fifteen percent by switching to Geico Your father's dead Your father's dead I won't sympathise with a vegan My father's dead Even when your father's dead Even when your father's dead Eat a fucking steak

This is my song about bread If you listen to it, it gets stuck inside your head Yeast sugar salt flour water butter Bake for a half an hour That was my song about bread

When we were kids We had a friend Our moms forbid But we couldn't comprehend He looked so friendly With that mischievous smirk On his face He was condescending Unless we pleased his oh, so particular taste Our Molester Our Molester, la la la la la Our Molester, ba na na na na na na Our Molester He lived behind our house In a wooden patch Our parents couldn't make him go away 'Cause he was hard to catch He looked so friendly With that mischievous smirk On his face He was condescending Unless we pleased his oh, so particular taste Our Molester Our Molester, la la la la la Our Molester, ba na na na na na na Our Molester One time he fucked up There was a trap in his hole He climbed inside to hide and he died That was the end of our mole 'Cause he was not a person You see, Lester was just a mole And he did not molest us That was our uncle Ted Our Molester Our Molester, la la la la la Our Molester, ba na na na na na na Our Molester Our Molester Our Molester Our Molester Our Molester Was just a mole

I want to have sex with your girlfriend I want to make love to her tonight Feel her sexy thighs wrapped around mine in a missionary position As I take her, and shake her, and make her feel all right I want to have sex with your girlfriend Lick in and out of her and tell her it seems That she has never had my special kind of hairy apeman lovin' before But then she'll interrupt me with her passionate screams 'Cause I'm the man of her dreams And you're not What happened to free love anyway Why can't polyandry be okay 'Cause I got one life left to live And a lot of love to give And before I die, I wanna see if I can't get laid I want to have sex with your girlfriend 'Cause there's no pride in my soul, no chivalry in my heart I know that we've been friends a long time But I'll bet she's getting sick of your undoubtedly inadequate part You can't make love to her like I can And when I get down I'm like a deer in the rut I'm gonna trick her with some scented candles and lotion And then I'm gonna put it in and out of her butt And in and out of her butt, and in and out of her What happened to free love anyway Why can't polyandry be okay 'Cause I got one life left to live And a lot of love to give And before I die, I wanna see if I can't get laid Some people think my fingers are just for strummin' Some people think my fingers are for pickin' guitar But I can use my right hand to check her plumbing And I can use my left to unfasten you girlfriend's bra And put my face in-between them boobies And go Pppbubbpuubpbbbppb What happened to free love anyway Why can't polyandry be okay 'Cause I got one life left to live And a lot of love to give And before I die, I wanna see if I can't I don't wanna be alone buddy I just want her at night by my side You can watch but you can not join in You're hogtied out in the corner And when I'm done you can take her home So I can have the bed all to myself

One time we were all shopping at Walmart We'd been shopping all the live long day Then a hungry homeless man approached us for some change So we asked him to kindly go away And we said We're gonna go eat tacos And that guy doesn't have a home We're gonna go eat tacos And that guy doesn't have a home One day I'll grow up and have a child And I'll go see my Little Leaguer play And afterwards we'll all go out for tacos And if we see a homeless guy we'll say We're gonna go eat tacos And that guy doesn't have a home We're gonna go eat tacos And that guy doesn't have a home The bums may attempt to make you feel guilty For gettin' up and goin' 'bout your day Well life is not a box of chocolates, it's a box of shit And you should not be made to feel that way So if you see a homeless guy at Walmart Don't smile at him, don't give him your change Homeless people are not homeless by shear coincidence They touch themselves at night and worship Satan We're gonna go eat tacos And that guy doesn't have a home We're gonna go eat tacos And that guy doesn't have a home